The mauradersand the exploding flying fish of doom
by Fearless
Summary: The chapters are all up ... its a mmwp... kinda J/L not really... more insanity... Llamas falling on McGonagall's head... read it and then review... :0) Flames get fed to my dog... but do as you please... :)
1.

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: anything you recognize belongs to someone else… in fact everything prolly belongs to someone else.. J 

A/N: this is really dumb for a beginning… it should get better

Late night chat

Lily Evans was the girl that everyone wanted to be. She had the looks, the grades, the followers, the reputation, but she also had a secret and if anyone found out she would be in big trouble. You see Lily Evans was a Magid, an extremely extraordinarily powerful wizard. She could do any sort of spells as soon as she knew the incantation or spell. She also had another gift, a photographic memory so as soon as she saw how to make a potion she could remember it as if it were one word. Lily was thinking about how Dumbledore had warned her not to tell anyone when there was a sound from her window. She looked up to see James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin all on broomsticks at the window of her house in London.

"James, Sirius, Remus," she said in her sweet little girl voice, "what the HELL are you doing here at two o'clock in the morning?" The boys on their broomstick each had an equally evil grin on their face. It was a day before their first year at Hogwarts and the boys were all looking for people to hex, Lily had become weary of them, at that moment they all took out their wands, pointed them at Lily and said some words Lily could not hear. Jets of red sparks came out of their wands, Lily didn't mean to, but instead of ducking used a magical blast of her Magid powers to rebound the spell. When she open her eyes she couldn't see anybody on broomsticks, but 3 yellow cats were sitting in their places. Lily laughed and changed them back as quickly as she could. The place erupted with talking.

"Dammit Lily, did you have to go and bloody do that?" James said. "I was going to turn you into a yellow canary!"

"And I was going to try and hit you with a tickling hex." Said Sirius.

Lily knew that neither of them could have really turned people into canaries by now, but Lily could, she didn't even have to use a wand. She thought of how fun it was gong to be making mischief at Hogwarts with these guys, they had excellent ideas, but right now she just wanted to be alone. 

"Hey you guys, do you wanna leave now because I have to finish packing in I want to get to Platform 9 and ¾ tomorrow." Lily said trying to look as tired as she could.

"Lil' you look tired, so we'll go but try to get to the platform early tomorrow so we can plan" Sirius said that last part with a smile. He was always trying to make Lily take part in their plans, he didn't know why but all of their plans seemed to work ten times better when Lily was there.

A/N: ok that part was rather dumb and an intro to the story, the rest will be a helluva lot better.. J at least I hope so. Please R/R I don't care flames… no flames… its all good


	2. The chaos and flying fish begins! chapte...

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Chaos Begins

The marauders had just arrived for their first year at Hogwarts. Set on going to begin the year with a bang they decided to do a prank. James and Sirius were gong to disappear from the sorting ceremony so that the teachers would look for them, this plan didn't work however because Snape over heard and told the teachers. James and Sirius both got a detention along with Remus, even though he didn't do anything. After the sorting ceremony was over (a/n: I didn't feel like doing the entire ceremony cuz that just gets boring… they are all in Griffyndor.) 

They all sat down at the table and started eating. It wasn't long before their appetites were disturbed because Snape, Malfoy and Crabbe all came over. 

"Ugh" Lily groaned, "Now I can't eat because of the horrible site I have seen." 

Snape looked at Lily with a just as disgusted look on his face and said loudly, "I don't need your opinion on how I look you mudblood." The rage inside Lily was growing immense, she was trying to control her powers but it was hard to do, she just let it all go. Then out 0of the ceiling, floor, and walls came… flying fish, they swooped everywhere attacking Snape Malfoy, Crabbe and the rest of the Slytherin bunch. When Snape looked up, there was a fish coming right at him, then with out warning, it exploded right in front of his face, getting fish guts all over his already slimy hair.

"I'll get you for this mudblood." Snape said in a whisper so that only Lily could here, he didn't say it quite quietly enough because Sirius heard, he smirked and said "But Lily could always call on her Flying fish with exploding wings of grossness…. Not that you need to look anymore gross by the way, I think you're going to be forced to wash your hair, you smell almost twice as worse as you normally do, and didn't even know that could happen." The Griffyndor table burst out with laughter, but all the laughter stopped when McGonnagal came over to the table.

"Lily Evans, Professor Dumbledore want you in his office now, you too Remus." Lily wanted to know why Remus was going into the headmaster's office, it wasn't as if he had done anything. To make one last laugh before she got in so much trouble, she decided to use her Magid powers to turn Snape's robes Gold with Gryffindor rules on the back in big scarlet letters.The Great Hall burst out laughing again, no one thought it was Lily because she wasn't anywhere near him and she didn't have her wand out. When she got to the headmaster's office, she found out she wasn't in trouble just being warned that if she accidentally did that again she would be in trouble. She left for her common room when she found out she didn't know where it was. She found a girl who had been sitting at her table earlier, she was a third year as Lily soon found out and was ecstatic that the Slytherins had been so embarrassed they became quick friends her name was Aymie Cocoundra, and she found the common room for her. Lily went to sleep as soon as she got to her four posted bed.


	3. Something different

Disclaimer: Everything that you recognize is not mine anything you don't (including the insanity ) is mine

Disclaimer: Everything that you recognize is not mine anything you don't (including the insanity J ) is mine.

A/N: It gets a tad bit Lily and James in here… more insanity, ya know this type of thing… kudos to jeni peni and Darkwing they were the only ones to review… I love ya man J 

Remus Lupin stayed in Dumbledore's study to see what he wanted with him. Dumbledore looked up and spotted Remus. "Aaahhh, Mr. Lupin, I have a request for you. Hide that you are a werewolf deep down and don't think about it often. Miss. Evans has the capabilities to read minds." Dumbledore put on a smile. "That is all Mr. Lupin." 

Remus left the study utterly bewildered, how in the heck could Lily Evans read minds… the only people who could read minds so young were Magids. Remus quickly put two and two together but was shocked at his theory. Lily Evans a Magid? That seemed impossible, but it had to be true, how else could she make exploding fly fish (of doom) come out of the wall and attack Slytherins. When came to the Fat Lady and gave the password (Weebles wobble but they don't fall down! ) He came into the common room to see know one there but there were big fat blue bubbles floating around. He searched through the bubbles and quickly found Sirius, James and Lily, and also some little fat boy that he didn't know. 

"Sirius what the hell did you do? Remus questioned with a maniac glint in his eye.

"Who me? I didn't do one damn thing it was Lily." Sirius replied back, "I didn't tell her to chew the gum that I gave her, she just took it from me and started blowing bubbles and now they won't go away and…"

The story would have gone on and on except they saw Aymie run down the stares straight for them. " Lily is in some sort of trance thing and I can't wake her up." She said all this very quickly. I found this next to her. It was a sheet of parchment and written in blood it said:

The flower lies almost dead,

A crown of fire on her head.

And if thou does not find,

Her match made in heaven divine.

Thou gets three tries at the end of three.

She shall either wake up for all to see.

Or die cold and dead 

With no crown of Fire on her head.

"Where the hell did you find this?" James asked in a whisper.

"I went up into the first year dormitories to find Lil' and it was lying there next to her. I think one of you three is what they are talking about. Not the fat boy though. How bout each of you kiss her and then if she wakes up on the last one, one of you is her "match made in heaven"" Aymie said this all very very fast so it took a while for them to realize what she had said.

They all filed up into Lily's dorm and kissed her one by one she didn't move, and Aymie started to cry. Then suddenly she began to twitch and woke up. "Lily! Your ok!" Amy yelled. Lily looked at Remus very closely and said, "You didn't tell them did you?" 

Remus looked up and said " N-n-ooo… I didn't."

"But you know right."

"I think I do"

"Oh ok… I knew you were the smart one don't tell anyone alrighty?" Lily said this in a bouncy tone because she knew that Remus wouldn't tell anyone and Remus nodded his head to show his consent. 

"Did I miss something here?" Black yelled into the silence, "Because you guys are talking in like fragments, I'm going down to the kitchens, anyone else wanna come?" Lily and Amy shook their heads so did Remus. James jumped up and said yep, so James and Sirius went down to the kitchens.

When they got in the kitchens they met all the house elves and decided to play a trick on Snape… until they realized he was… there in person.

"Well, if it isn't Potter and his friend Black." Snape said coldly.

"Well if it isn't slimeball who doesn't was his hair even though he got fish guts in them."

A/N: I'm going to leave it there because I don't know what the hell I am supposed to be writing after this. This was a weird chapter... not to much insanity… hope ya like it.

***PsYcHo MoOnDaNcEr***


	4. The Kewl Kats Kome to town!

A/N: My bestest friend comes in at this one… She's a werecat

A/N: My bestest friend comes in at this one… She's a werecat.. I got the werecat thingy from some other author. If you are that author and you don't want me to use it sux for you… J

Disclaimer… No one is mine except for Yasmin... and flying fish of doom… anything you don't recognize … including the insanity… J

Chapter tres

Kewl Kat Komes In

The werecat jumped through the forest, silently as it could. It could smell the prey. Werecats are so vicious even werewolves are afraid of them. The moon was going down so she would have to make a kill soon. Through the light of the full moon she saw a werewolf. She knew she knew the werewolf but would have to kill it if it got any closer. As soon as it came up the moon went down and the sun replaced it. Silently the two girls got up and walked to the castle.

Aymie walked into Lily's dormitory. "Rise and shine you lazy git." As she said this she made a bunch of no heat wet start fire crackers. She poured water on them with her wand and... ZOOM… the firecrackers bounced off the wall and almost hit her back in the head. She ducked fast with her good reflexes and jumped on Lily, but when she landed she realized it wasn't Lily she had jumped on, it was someone new. She had a sixth sense about this girl, she was a werewolf.

"So who are you?" Aymie asked hyperly.

"Yasmin," the girl coughed. "Would you be so kind and get off of me?" She touched Amy to push her off, but then recoiled in fright. 

"What?" Aymie looked at the girl in disbelief. Surely the werewolf didn't have the same type of sixth sense as she, the werecat did.

"Your, your that werecat I saw last night. Dumbledore didn't tell me anything about a werecat." Yasmin said 

"That's because he, err, doesn't exactly know." Aymie smiled. She was a damn sly one. Very, very sugar high at all times. "Come on werewolf, let's go down to breakfast. 

************************************************************************

Down at breakfast James and Sirius were smiling ever so slightly when Dumbledore stood up and announced the arrival of Yasmin. A few guys looked curiously over her way, and a few catcalls (other than the ones made by Sirius and James) could be heard. Snape looked extremely jealous of the Gryffindor table, they had gotten Yasmin and Aymie. When they had gotten Aymie four years ago. Which was a big shock because she knew more curses than the entire school. While looking at Yasmin, Snape didn't realize he had spooned the very same things onto his plate that Black and Potter had cursed the night before, all of a sudden there was a big blast of heat and light and standing where Snape was, was an oversized Chicken that had a cape on that was scarlet and in gold letters said Gryffindors rule!!! It also had on bright green boxers that said Snape needs to wash his hair.

The Gryffindor table burst out laughing. Snape (well the chicken) turned bright red (well his yellow feathers did actually) and ran out of the great hall. Just as this happened James turned to Lily and asked her to accompany him in walking to the North tower, towards the Divination room. Just as they were walking James whisked her aside into one of the classrooms and told her.

"I like you Lily, I wanted to know if you would wannagoutwthme."

… A/N: I think I'll leave it here… Hmmm… a cliffie…will Lily say yes…. I wonder…. More insanity to come…: o) (Look at me and my bad self.. ! uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh!) 


	5. The Llamas are falling!!

A/N: There is a huge amount of insanity in this chapter… I love all of you that reviewed my previous chapters

A/N: There is a huge amount of insanity in this chapter… I love all of you that reviewed my previous chapters. I try to keep my stories interesting so that you like them, but not so insane and confoosing so that you are morally confoosed as I am in my everyday life. Oh and by the way in the previous chapter I said they were going to the divination tower but they are only in first year, you are allowed to take it in first year before.

Disclaimer: Only the odd, insane, and unrecognizable belong to me… J

Chapter 4: The Good the bad and the partially insane 

"What did you just say James?" Lily asked with a shocked expression on her face. James looked at her puzzled, " I thought I stated pretty clearly, I asked you if you would…"

Lily interrupted, "I know what you said, I just want to know if you were being truthful, like you seriously want to go out with me." She paused for a moment and said, " You know what we could do," James gave her a quizzical look, "We could pretend to go out, then if I like the way it looks, I'll go out with you. If I don't however, I won't go out with you and the whole thing never happened." James looked at her as if she were crazy, although she probably was, then out of the blue, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. She could not figure out why, but she had this urge to rush forward and kiss him like he had never been kissed before.

"Hey Lil' we better go to divination, Sirius might get the wrong idea…" He broke off because standing in the doorway was Snape, he still had a few feathers on him and he still said griffyndors rule but, other than that he looked like he had molted and come back to normal. "What are you doing here Severus, come to spy on me, again?" Severus looked taken aback

"Since when have I ever spied on you before? I don't recall ever doing so, but since we are talking about you, have you St. Potter, gotten together with that mudblood flower, you know the one you were just talking to and K-I-S-S-I-N-G? Before James could answer, Lily came up and grabbed James and kissed him very, very tonguey like. Then turned to Snape and said, "There does THAT answer your question? " Both James and Snape looked at Lily with shock and disbelief. Lily turned and said,

"Come on James we're going to be late for divination." James took her hand and they walked out of the classroom. 

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

When they arrived in divination Sirius did a few catcalls and James realized he was still holding Lily's hand. They sat down and started to drink the tea like they were supposed to then gave their cups to each other to read. James sat there and looked hard and announced, "I see tea leaves, you are going to be drinking a heck of a lot of tea in your near future…" The entire class was laughing. Then James imitated the teacher's misty voice and said, "I believe I see a llama in your near future." 

The bell rang and the class still laughing went down to their next class, which for Lily and the marauders happened to be transfiguration. Lily was good at everything, except for transfiguration. She got so aggravated trying to change her quill into an animal that she prodded it and it caught on fire. She got so aggravated that she accidentally made water come out of her mouth, in a jet that made the fire go out. Sirius looked at her in amazement, no one could be that talented. She got so aggravated with the quill that she didn't hear the rumbling, then many dozens of llamas fell from the ceiling and landed on every single person in the class, including professor McGonagall. She got out from underneath her llama and pulled Lily into the hall and through many different halls until they reached a stone Griffin. She said the password, sugar quills, and the figure moved aside to reveal a…. LLAMA!

Here is another cliffie… who is the llama? Where are all these creatures coming from? What will we know… stay tuned for the next chapter of….. The marauders and the exploding flying fish of doom!!


	6. A gay chapter.. i which ... i dunno

A/N: Hey lows everyone… I finally got around to writing another chapter in the marauders and the exploding flying fish of Doom

A/N: Hey lows everyone… I finally got around to writing another chapter in the marauders and the exploding flying fish of Doom! YAY!! I don't think anyone really cared that I stopped writing. They don't seem to like this story very much. They all seem to like Slytherin's Crap Monsters a heck of a lot betters. I wonder why that is? My mom deleted all of the previous writings of my chapters so I forgot who is in this story. So if I happen to forget anyone… just let me know! OK? Without further a due… 

Chapter 6

How much is that Llama in the Office?

When we left our story, we had a mysterious llama in the passageway up to Dumbledore's study… Who is the mysterious llama?…

"That would be Severus Snape, Lily." Said a voice from behind the desk. She looked up and saw Dumbledore talking to her. "He came up to tell on you for doing something and turned into a llama, right before my very eyes. It was quite interesting you know. I haven't had students turning into animals since Alastor Moody was here. He had something with turning other people into ferrets." Dumbledore sighed and gave Lily a smile. "Do you know why Severus turned into a llama and there are llamas all over the school on people's heads?" Lily looked Dumbledore in the eye. He knew. He knew the one thing she had tried to keep a secret from everyone.

"You are very powerful Lily, very powerful indeed. I see you will do great things in your future. Now Lily, go and don't tell anyone, but you can tell your closest friends. They might come in handy in the future." Lily left professor Dumbledore's office being more confused then she had when that llama dropped on her head or the fish came out of the walls. She needed to harness her powers, if she did, she could purposely send exploding fish at the slytherins. What fun that would be. She ran down to transfiguration to find everyone had gotten their llamas off their own heads. Professor McGonagall dismissed class early and everyone went back to their own common rooms.

"Lily! Wait!" Lily turned around to see Sirius running up behind her. "What's going on Lily?" Sirius was looking at her with penetrating eyes, she felt she could trust Sirius but she wouldn't say anything until after he asked her. "Lily! I mean it. You always seem to be the center of things. When the fish came you were there. When llamas fell on everyone's heads, you were there. I saw you shoot water out of your self. What is going on Lily! I want the truth." Lily looked around and saw that there was an empty classroom over to there left.

"In here Siri." Lily and Sirius stepped into the classroom. Sirius looked at her with those eyes again so she started to tell him. "Ever since I was little weird stuff always happened around me, but to make a long story short… well you'll never believe this but, I'm a Magid." Sirius stood and looked at her with disbelief. Then snapped back to his senses.

"Lily that is so cool! I always wanted to be a Magid. You'll be able to torture the Slytherin's without them knowing its you!" Sirius exclaimed. Little did either of them know that a little, well big fat rat with slimy, greasy hair was in thee corner listening.

Disclaimer: I forgot this at the top. Nothing belongs to me except the plot, the llamas and the insanity-a-rooni! 

A/N: That was dumb now wasn't it! Review, flame whatever. I really don't care…My dumb n button wont work.


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